To Gift or Not to Gift: My Thoughts on Specifying A Wedding Gift Preference

One of the biggest dilemmas that we’ve encountered in this entire process was whether or not we would have a bridal registry. We already started giving out invitations but when guests would ask me what to give us on our wedding, I can’t say anything yet. And this could be because 1) we’re not expecting any gifts especially from our friends; 2) although we assume that at least some of them plan to give us something, we don’t want to tell them what our preference is because no matter how we tell them, it will sound tacky; 3) it’s really not a big deal if they go there empty-handed since it’s not our reason for throwing a big wedding party, so we don’t see the point of giving an answer when we’re asked what we like, or where we registered.

But I realized the need to get a bridal registry and discreetly tell our gift preference to people when 4 people told me (though jokingly) that they’re going to get us a rice cooker for our wedding. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with getting a rice cooker---but what are we supposed to do with 3 more? I can just imagine piles of duplicate appliances collecting dust in our house if we didn’t sign up for a registry. But just in case there are duplicates, it would be nice if the gifts would still have their price tags on, so just in case it happens, we can sell the items right away. Heh.

I’ve seen some wedding invitations that say, “Your presence is enough, but just in case, we prefer cash”. Yes, it’s a very convenient way to spare ourselves from getting flooded by unnecessary home products but we didn’t include any hint of that in our invites because besides the fact that my dad didn’t want us to, the whole point of the celebration can get somewhat lost in translation; like it’s technically an exclusive event that offers free beer in exchange of a cover charge, and we don’t want that.

So how do we tell our guests what we like as gifts without including it in our invites and posting it to our wedsite and Facebook group? I guess the most ethical thing to do is to not say anything unless asked, or let our family and closest friends do the announcement, so we can keep ourselves from shouting to the world that we prefer ‘this kind of gift’ on the assumption that our guests would be generous and thoughtful enough to give us that.

~~It’s 2 months and 2 weeks to go. On days that I realize how near it is, I feel like I’m about to throw up. Gah. *more jitters by the day*